Work

A friend recently sent me a message asking me to share my testimony. Well with the visibility of facebook activity some of you may have come across a thread I participated in recently. In that thread my “calling” was questioned. I’d like to take the opportunity to respond to it since the content of my communication in the thread was mainly directed to the status it pertained to. By doing so I’ll be simultaneously sharing a bit of the bit of my testimony that I’ve rarely mentioned in bits I’ve shared.

“What makes you think you are the chosen one,” I was asked. I initially said I didn’t believe in such a thing because, having Jesus in mind, there is a single chosen one – the Messiah. It occurred to me afterwards that perhaps by “chosen one” he meant chosen to know what I claim to by revelation. Because he pointed out the times I stated that God had revealed, to me, what I communicate and share. So it seems he was questioning my calling because I’d said that. It was odd to me because I’m giving God the glory being fully aware and convinced of:

1 Corinthians 4:7
For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?
I suppose if I wanted to boast I would lie and take the glory.

Questioning my calling for not doing that is disturbing and perplexing… I shared the blog post titled “Woman” with the daughter of a pastor in the church community I was raised in. She responded by asking me if I ever attended Time Square Church in NYC. The wife of one of the pastors preaches there… That was all she had to say.

The communication I share(d) is in writing, not in a church – either behind the pulpit or on the premises as I have long ceased to worship the Father according to the traditions practiced by the church. Therefore it makes no difference if a man or woman is behind the pulpit in a church to me (although I admit it was uncomfortable to listen to a female in that context). The only commandment Christ gave before he died was to, “do this in remembrance of me.” We all know the context. Have you considered that every Christian denomination interprets and observes this symbolically? I can’t think of any denomination that does not. This includes Catholics, Protestants, Adventists, Mormons, even non-denominational; all of which strongly oppose each other. It doesn't add up. Do you see that? I didn't, but now that I do it's clear as day. Looking at this further serves as a perfect example of what is in question about my calling and the permission it seems I may be violating by speaking.

Are you fully convinced the Lord’s commandment at the last supper, the Passover feast, is being performed by the practice you observe? I didn’t even question it. What I did question at one point, about 5 years into my faith, was “how to do this.” By “this” I meant the faith. It was in a prayer. I’d been attending church, seeking answers to questions I was grappling with from leaders, hanging on to my faith for my life – spiritually. I had lost it in the course of those first five years. I couldn’t imagine the joy and peace I experienced at the onset of it to ever go away (although, sadly, church members warned me it would). Throughout that time I was attending church and taking the communion. There was a particular event that worked to bring me back into the life I became painfully disconnected from, desperately missed and yearned for. But to make a longer story short, some time after the event and in the course of attending church and asking leaders for guidance with no resolve, I gave up and relinquished the how’s and what to the Lord. I asked him to guide and teach me, returning to the source I’d trusted from the beginning, and with full assurance I felt somewhat relieved.

The next 5 years were a period of exponential growth by means that any sane person would not enter into Lamentations 3:20 if they knew what was ahead of them. But just as I couldn’t conceive the extent of what lie ahead, could I anticipate what would follow. It was every single bit worth it.
The time was more like a period of great tribulation rather than a trial; beyond comprehension. In one word: searing. Among the revelations, yes revelations, that came to me during that time was that the Lord’s Prayer is in actuality the communion. We all know and have more than likely considered “Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” to mean regular bread.

John 6:58
This is the bread which came down from heaven—not as your fathers ate the manna, and are dead. He who eats this bread will live forever.”

It occurred to me out of the blue one day, in that part of the prayer, as I silently uttered the words. I’d been, at a loss for how to, praying the actual prayer for a time. I hadn’t sought an alternative interpretation. I had not even questioned the practice.

The feeling that came with the realization was paralyzing. It was jolting and somewhat frightening. I was speechless and stunned. But there was no doubt as I began to consider it and read the word with it in mind. There was no way I could return to taking it as the piece of bread and juice. It became a heresy to me in fact and I am not ashamed to call it as such. In fact it brings me great joy to call it out. Because this relatively small observance, in contrast to all the work that goes into the busy schedule and activities of the church, that no one really ever thinks about until it comes around (usually once a month) is robbing believers in Christ of their livelihood. You don’t know what you are missing until, like a child, you begin to grow. There is, likewise, a way to. The body along with all of creation serve to explain spiritual truth. You have to know the word is written in such a way that only believers can understand it. Otherwise anyone could attain the life of God without believing in the work of God.

John 6:29
Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”

You have to be weary of literal, physical interpretations of the word if you want your faith to count for what it can. There is a way to eat spiritually. The faith is not about feeling warm and fuzzy, pumping or getting pumped up. If you want it to actually rebound to the glory of God, store up a reward for your effort and experience the “breadth, and length, and depth, and height” of it while you have the opportunity then consider that we are called to work.

My obligation is to be obedient. My meat, furthermore, is to do the will of him that chose, yes chose – like you if you’ve been, me. It feeds me to do the work I did the time to be able to do. I’m grateful for a truly equal opportunity employer. 13 years now into my faith I’ve attained the wherewithal and courage to communicate what I’ve learned and was not able to hold inside myself indefinitely. In fact it gives me great joy to do the work I’ve been graciously and magnificently equipped to do; despite appearing as a fanatic and false prophet (although not even self-proclaimed. It really is a wonder (especially for people who are just reconnecting with me since high school I’m sure) and a testament of God’s word:

1 Corinthians 1:26-27
Glory Only in the Lord (I kept this title which appears in the NKJV)
For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;

Ephesians 3:20-21,
Daniela